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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28071579">i like my body when it is with your body, it is so quite a new thing</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/EyeScreamQueen/pseuds/EyeScreamQueen'>EyeScreamQueen</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Steven Universe (Cartoon)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>A lot - Freeform, Crying, Established Relationship, F/F, Gems with Genitalia, Pearl Fucks, Pearl on Pearl action, Polyamory, Porn with Feelings, Sex, Shapeshifting, Vaginal Fingering, and also Pearl baggage. like. in spades, background Volleybispearl, fucking; crying; fucking while crying</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 17:35:53</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>7,714</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28071579</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/EyeScreamQueen/pseuds/EyeScreamQueen</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Volleyball is new to Earth, new to freedom, new to choice. Pearl is only too happy to lend a hand, though asking for the same in kind takes a little more work.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Pearl/Pink Diamond's Original Pearl | Volleyball</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>23</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>i like my body when it is with your body, it is so quite a new thing</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Volleyball has had a <em> lot </em>to learn since she first warped to Earth.</p><p> </p><p>She’s quick, curious and adaptive; eager to try everything. Everything she touches, everywhere she looks, there’s something new to discover - too much to possibly do it all at once. It forces her to choose, to decide for herself what <em> she </em> wants to do, where <em> she </em> wants to go next.</p><p> </p><p>Choice is a new experience, but she takes to it well once the initial strangeness wears off. After all those missing years, she throws herself into exploring with arms outstretched the realms of possibility suddenly within her reach as a free Pearl.</p><p> </p><p>Some lessons (food, weaponry, assertiveness) are difficult, leave her feeling out of sorts but with a new-found steely resolve to try again another day. Others (horticulture, photography, shapeshifting) come far easier. Some barely need any tutoring.</p><p> </p><p>And whenever she does need encouragement or reassurance, Pearl is only too willing to assist.</p><p> </p><p>“Come on, darling,” Pearl urges, above her, voice like liquid velvet carrying over Volley’s whines, sweaty hands making fists of the bedding as her back arches to grant Pearl a better angle. </p><p> </p><p>A sweet spike of heat lances through her as her muscles jump in rhythm with the gentle ministrations of Pearl’s hands: one, swiping gentle, methodical circles around the outer edge of her gem; the other lower, two crooked fingers buried slick inside her. Every come-hither stroke sends staticky frissons of need through her form, from the roots of her hair down to the tips of her toes, which are beginning to twitch and curl involuntarily.</p><p> </p><p>“Pearl,” Volley manages in a moan, reaching up, clinging to her, trying to wrap her legs around and pull her near. She wants to immerse herself whole in the feel of Pearl, to have her closer, deeper, harder. She whimpers, hips rocking; then Pearl dips her head down to press tongue and lips to the hot surface of her gem.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh stars - ohstarsohstarsoh<em> fuck</em>, Pearl, fuck...” The words are barely comprehensible, hot coiling pleasure blurring one into the next. Pearl smirks, self-satisfied.</p><p> </p><p>"That is - " curl, <em> press</em>, long slow flick with her tongue, " - precisely what I'm doing." Smiling around the tease, little circles, oh. <em> Oh</em>. Feels like coming apart at the seams.</p><p> </p><p>She's infuriating, and Volley adores it. And so intently focused, fingers working deep within her as her tongue lathes over Volley’s gem. Her voice sputters out into a jumble of gasps and wordless, needy moans - then as the catching heat spreads through her, Volley forgets how to breathe entirely. Her body tenses as pleasure flutters, tightens, spooling like ribbon somewhere deep in her core - Pearl’s thumb grazing hot and insistent and she’s - she’s -</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, yes. Good girl. That’s it,” Pearl coos, eyes closed, wet open-mouthed kisses against her gem as it heats, glowing like a beacon. The light builds fast, illuminating Pearl’s face as she dips her head lower, replacing the graze of her thumb with her lips over the clit Volley never for a second regrets creating.</p><p> </p><p>The ragged wail she lets out barely sounds like her - it certainly doesn’t sound like a noise Pearls ever made on Homeworld. Pearl curls her fingers inside her just so while she <em> sucks</em>, and when her hand reaches up to palm Volley’s gem, she's done for. The pearl in her midriff flares bright as she’s taken over by white-hot liquid pleasure and Volley shrieks, helpless to suppress it.</p><p> </p><p>It’s so good, achingly good - she could dissipate on the spot just to keep the shockwaves thrumming through her. Pearl’s fingers delve so sweet and electric and deep and <em> stars, </em>it feels like she’s hollowing Volley out, filling up her whole form with annihilating, trembling pleasure, and she wants more, needs more, more, more - wait - no - too much - she has to -</p><p> </p><p>“Stop!” she yelps, gasping as her hips judder still, twisting away. Pearl stops immediately, panting, looking down at her in surprised concern.</p><p> </p><p>“Volley?”</p><p> </p><p>The word takes a minute, swimming through the haze of her head. It takes a moment for her to remember that’s her name.</p><p> </p><p>“Volley, goodness - are you - oh, sweetheart.”</p><p> </p><p>Pearl cups her jaw, so gently. Her fingertips are featherlight and heartbreakingly cautious, smoothing dampness against her cheek - when did that get there?</p><p> </p><p>“I - “ Words half-form, useless fragments of syllables tumbling into the air she churns with both unsteady hands. “I - didn’t - it was so <em>good</em> but - I - "</p><p> </p><p>She feels suddenly, awfully overexposed. Her gem glows momentarily and the next instant, her clothes reappear. Pearl doesn’t so much as blink as leotard, skirt and tights reappear between her form and Volley’s, but takes her hand, stroking the back with her thumb.</p><p> </p><p>“You may be hypersensitive,” Pearl says, gentle and instructive. “That can happen. When there’s an excess of physical stimulation - or mental, in actual fact - it can be overwhelming. But it’s - normal. As normal as it gets, at least.”</p><p> </p><p>Pearl’s other hand finds her shoulder, touch light, eyes big and blue and alert, scanning for further signs of distress. Try as she might, Volley can’t stop shaking, the aftershocks of pleasure mingling with a rising tide of anxiety.</p><p> </p><p>The very notion that she could ever be a thing Pearl cares about is what’s overwhelming. How does she ever make it up to her? She’s a living legend, here in their secret nook of the temple, and yet she wants Volley. The Renegade, who could choose to be anything, anywhere - but chooses her; chooses here; chooses to touch her and hold her and care for her.</p><p> </p><p>She cares. She cares so much, and it makes Volley wish she could poof just to stop feeling so perceived. Her chest feels unpleasantly tight. She sucks in a breath, light-headed. It feels like her form is pressed between panes of glass. There’s a different kind of pressure building, with the intensity of fists hammering a barricade. It’s too much, something has to give, something needs to -</p><p> </p><p>A little gasp quakes out of her, the only warning she or Pearl get before all of a sudden she’s bawling.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, no,” Pearl murmurs. “I - “</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Don’t go</em>!” The words hurtle out before she can check them, sharp with desperation, rent around a sob as hands scrabble at Pearl’s forearms. “Please - I’m sorry - I’ll be good - don’t - I need you.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh,” Pearl’s voice falters as she reaches out, gathers Volley close, folds her into the safety of her arms. She’s still sat astride Volley’s hips, and she shuffles back just enough for Volley to lean forwards into her, pressing herself into the embrace. “It’s alright. I’m here. I'm not going anywhere. You’re safe.”</p><p> </p><p>“I need you,” Volley whimpers again into her neck as Pearl rocks her minutely from side to side. Pearl gives her a squeeze, presses a gentle kiss over her cracks.</p><p> </p><p>“Shhhh, shh. There now. I’ve got you.” The words - comfort and possession, one free Pearl to another - kindle something in her gem.</p><p> </p><p>“I want you.” Volley looks up at her, tone laced with summer-storm heat and suggestiveness despite the wet lashes. Pearl hesitates.</p><p> </p><p>“I - “ Her lips pucker into a round pink <em> o </em> of uncertainty. “Are you sure?”</p><p> </p><p>Volley nods insistently as she brushes tears from her cheek. Pearl hums, catches her hand gently to give her knuckles a soft kiss, then tips her chin up to brush the tip of her long nose against Volley’s. She sighs at the contact, Volley giving a contented little trill in answer - followed by an irritable groan low in her throat as fresh tears prickle her eye.</p><p> </p><p>“I just - oh, stars. It just keeps happening,” she mumbles, embarrassed. “Here, at the Forge, on the beach, wherever. Why now?”</p><p> </p><p>“We can stop,” Pearl begins soothingly, but Volley cuts her short.</p><p> </p><p>“I know, but I don’t want to. I just - can’t seem to dry up.” She gives a frustrated whimper, tries to roughly dash the fresh tears from her right cheek with an impatient hand.</p><p> </p><p>And Pearl just kisses the tear-tracks, whispers reassurance against her ear, rubs her back. Volley saw, in their fusion, what she’s capable of - the hulking shadows of the gems she’d poofed, the times she’d come perilously close to shattering, keeping their Diamond’s secret. She tasted it herself, there at the Reef - however would they have known what to do, if not for Pearl’s strength, her aim, her tactics? The power - together, they’d been ablaze with it. Yet here with Volley, unfused, she’s all gentleness. What did she do to deserve it? What can she do to keep it?</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry,” she mutters, ducking her chin away.</p><p> </p><p>“That’s okay,” Pearl smiles, pressed close against the tearstained curve of her cheek. “It’s okay for that to happen. Stars, I feel like I spent half my first few millennia on Earth crying or close to it.”</p><p> </p><p>“But I can’t make it stop,” Volley hiccups, frustrated.</p><p> </p><p>“That’s okay, too.” Her vision is a wet smudge, but she sees the peaches-and-cream blur of Pearl and her kindest smile - the sort she gives new gems at Little Homeschool, overwhelmed and uncertain.</p><p> </p><p>“It feels... it feels wrong.”</p><p> </p><p>What Volley means to tell her is how wrong it feels to cry when Pearl makes her so happy, takes such delicate care of her, makes such an effort with her. Crying all over her feels like poor repayment for her time and affection, a waste of the proximity Volley misses like a physical ache whenever they’re apart. But she can’t find the words, and Pearl misinterprets her statement, looking pensive.</p><p> </p><p>“I can appreciate that. It’s terrifying, at first. To... feel. And to feel out of control.”</p><p> </p><p>“You’re never out of control.”</p><p> </p><p>It’s the wrong thing to say. She feels Pearl freeze, and when Volley wipes her eye and focuses on her, she’s horrified to see Pearl look so suddenly haunted, mouth pressed into a thin line.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry, I - “</p><p> </p><p>“No, don’t be.” Urgent, abrupt, bordering on panic. “Please, don’t be. I - it’s not you, but you need to know. I’m... not always so composed. I have my moments. Many of them.” She fixes Volley with a pointed look. “You saw.”</p><p> </p><p><em>Ah</em>. She’d felt it, then, through the fusion: the awe radiating off of Volley, admiration bordering on intimidation. It’s harder to keep secrets in fusion - at least, when you live with feelings ever-flowing, fresh and new as lava, moving and molten under the crust.</p><p> </p><p>Volley nods, quiet and watchful. Pearl forces a bitter little laugh, tears glinting on her lashes.</p><p> </p><p>“I suppose I... don’t cope well with feeling like things are just happening<em> at </em>me. I need to take charge. Be proactive. I can’t settle if I don’t - I mean, I physically can’t. Not like an order, but... like an itch, in my gem. I feel - oh, Volley...” She sighs, voice tapering to an apologetic, choked whisper.</p><p> </p><p>“It's silly. I just feel like I can’t stop. Even for a minute - like something terrible will happen if I stop being careful. The war is over, we’re here and we’re safe and everything should feel okay but it - I - I don’t.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, Pearl.” Volley squeezes her hand, trying to press as much reassurance as she can manage into the contact. “It’s okay. Like you say - it’s okay to feel. I know I can’t fix everything, but... what can I do?”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m meant to be looking after you.” Pearl protests thickly. She blinks, and a tear slips down her cheek, though she tries to turn her head to hide it.</p><p> </p><p>“We can look after each other,” Volley tells her, eyes shimmering. “I feel safe, just being here, with you. What do you need, Pearl?”</p><p> </p><p>Pearl wavers. Volley waits. Then, Pearl shifts in her arms as Volley leans back, giving enough room for her to twist at the waist so she comes to rest bridal-style across Volley’s splayed legs. She winds her arms around Volley, face tucked against her neck. </p><p> </p><p>She always tries to hide when she's hurting. Volley can’t help but notice - between Pearls, emotions are almost contagious, so inbuilt is their ability to read and respond to tiny changes in another’s body language - but struggles to know what to do. It aches watching her try so hard not to <em> feel, </em>like she’s ashamed of it. And comforting someone so loathe to admitting they need things is a delicate exercise. One hasty move can have her walls shooting back up, galvanised, until eventually something buckles and the whole structure comes crumbling down. </p><p> </p><p>But she has a limit, despite her extreme reluctance to ever acknowledge the fact. Volley had picked up on her distress signals even before they’d retreated to Pearl’s room: tiny crease in her brow, tension in her neck, nervous edge to the motion of her hands. Fifty-foot letters projected up the cliffside couldn’t have spelled it out plainer - and distracting herself, evidently, hasn’t worked.</p><p> </p><p>Her shoulders are shaking now, just a little, and she’s <em> quiet</em>. Pearl is many wonderful things, but she’s rarely quiet without good reason: endless muttered lists; little snatches of song; chattering and humming to herself even as she washes dishes. Amethyst teases her for it but Volley finds it sweet, could happily fall asleep to the sound of Pearl reciting a class schedule. The silence is conspicuous and unsettling.</p><p> </p><p>“Pearl?” she prompts, worried and hesitant. Her anxious hands flutter over Pearl’s back, faint soothing patterns against the skin bared by her discarded jacket, as she feels her swallow.</p><p> </p><p>“Just... don’t let me go,” she whispers, so quietly Volley barely hears her over the faint rushing of the fountain. </p><p> </p><p>Her tone is pleading. It’s awful. The muffled sobbing immediately after hits Volley like a kick in the gem. </p><p> </p><p>She doesn't know how to help. It’s the most vulnerable Volley has ever seen her, outside of fusion. Pearl is so strong, battle-hardened but no less loving after the horrors of the war she endured. She defied all expectations, broke the mold to become Pearl the rebel, Pearl the warrior, Pearl the icon - and she fought for it all,<em> hard</em>. Every scrap of agency was won through private battles waged deep inside her own gem, every decision she’s ever made as an autonomous being another little victory against Homeworld dogma. </p><p> </p><p>Volley has no memory of any of the war, that time having been stolen from her. She isn't happy about it, but she doesn't miss it - she can't. It was never allowed to become part of her story. Pearl, though - she remembers everything in agonizing detail, keeps it locked away, goes about her days with all those layers of memory pressing up against each other. Millennia of pain: filed neatly in her gem; alphabetized; expertly ordered. She knows exactly where everything is, only takes out what she needs, is careful to put it back where she found it as soon as she can. It’s her own personal archive library of repression - and that, unbelievably, is how Pearl likes it. </p><p> </p><p>“It’s alright”, she’d said, when Volley had asked about it, worried by a comment of Steven’s about <em>meeting all the other Pearls in there</em>. And oh, she’d deflected like a champion, no prizes for guessing where Steven learned it from: wry twist of her lip and cavalier wave of the hand, as if she could bat the concern away like a swarm of flies. “They all know to stay in their places. Can’t have things getting overcrowded!”</p><p> </p><p>She’d laughed - a little too loud, a little too high - then launched into a good-natured fracas with Amethyst over some missing sword or another, and that was that. Volley had been left to make cookies with Steven and Garnet and to ponder alone how different one Diamond’s Pearls could be. </p><p> </p><p>Sometimes Volley has wondered if all Pearl’s previous selves are watching through her gem, what they might think of her. It’s a little unnerving. She’s seen those human dolls - the stacking ones, intricate detail on wooden layers, they’d painted them in art class - and they reminded her vaguely of Pearl. One shape, many selves, all hidden away beneath a carefully painted surface - pieces of a whole, stacked over and over, the parts Pearl doesn’t want known buried right at the core.</p><p> </p><p>But Volley sees flashes, sometimes, projected into the dark when Pearl dreams - and when they fused, she felt it, down to her core, as pervasive as the power. Fear. The metronome to her entire being, telling her that if she stops, if she isn’t careful, if she doesn’t keep Steven out of harm’s way - the possible ways she could fail them all are too innumerate even for Garnet to count.</p><p> </p><p>They’re safe, but it isn’t safe enough, so she stays ever-vigilant for the what-ifs. She’s guarded and meticulous. Wary and precise. Equal parts perfectionist and petrified, because if she slips up now - after the war, after Pink and Rose and corruption and heartbreak and thousands of years of fighting - what was any of it worth?</p><p> </p><p>And now, in the peace and privacy of her inner sanctum, tucked behind a fountain, the Terrifying Renegade Pearl is curled in Volley's arms and weeping against her shoulder. She scoops Pearl as close as she can manage, making little soothing sounds into her hair, fresh tears coursing down her own cheek.</p><p> </p><p>There’s no need for either of them to verbalize the plea that seeps in between their tears like a fog over the ocean: <em>handle with care</em>. The moment feels as intimate as if Pearl had peeled the very nacre off her gem, presented the delicate nucleus palm-up to Volley.</p><p> </p><p>There’s no such thing as kindness in the Reef. Pearls aren’t accustomed to gentleness. Here, together, both of them can give and receive it in abundance.</p><p> </p><p>“We’ll be okay. We have time,” Volley murmurs, thumbing tears off Pearl’s pale cheeks. “We can learn. You’re always saying there’s no limit to what a Pearl can do. It - it might get easier.”</p><p> </p><p>Pearl sniffles, head tucked under Volley’s chin. “You - oh, you’re just wonderful. I’m... I’m so grateful for you.”</p><p> </p><p>Volley’s throat feels constricted. She manages to nod, pressing a chaste kiss to Pearl’s gem. It says everything they need to say.</p><p> </p><p>Pearl heaves a breath, scrubs at her face with the back of one hand, then surges up to catch Volley’s lips in a kiss. Their faces press together, damp and salt-tinged, hand finding identical hand as they grip each other tight enough to bruise. Comfort kissing - clutching one another, taking shelter in one another’s arms.</p><p> </p><p>And Volley can’t let her go - she won’t, couldn’t, not for anyone, not for a Diamond. She’d sooner shatter than lose this.</p><p> </p><p>Volley presses herself against Pearl, holding her tightly as they kiss, again and again. Pearl cries with her nose pressed into Volley’s cheek - and she’s crying too, both of them dropping tears as they cling to one another, kisses turning urgent and needy around shaky wet gasps of air.</p><p> </p><p>“I need - “</p><p> </p><p>They say it together, and Pearl manages a laugh.</p><p> </p><p>“Of course,” she murmurs, sniffling, as she kisses Volley’s neck. “Of course you know. You’re the only one. You’re - oh, Volley.” She winds her arms around her, muffled against her clavicle. “I - “</p><p> </p><p>“Shh,” Volley tells her, soft and adoring. “You don’t need to - “</p><p> </p><p>“But I want to!” Pearl lifts her head, kisses her hard amidst the tears streaking both of their faces. “I need to - you need to hear it - I want you to know - “</p><p> </p><p>“I already love you.” Volley whispers against her lips. “So very, very much.”</p><p> </p><p>Pearl makes a soft keening sound. “I still want to tell you.”</p><p> </p><p><em>Stubborn</em>. “Go ahead then,” Volley smiles, stroking back a few locks of Pearl’s soft hair from around her gem.</p><p> </p><p>Pearl takes a few steadying breaths, drawing back so they’re nose-to-nose again, heads making tiny circles so that the tips of their noses brush. “I love you.”</p><p> </p><p>Volley allows her thumb to brush the edge of Pearl’s gem, heartened to feel as well as see her swallow a little gasp as Volley replaces her thumb with her lips. She breathes the words against Pearl’s gem, soft as the fall of blossom.</p><p> </p><p>“I love you too, Pearl.”</p><p> </p><p>Pearl shudders, sighing as she bows her head. The presentation of her gem is so familiar and trusting Volley feels her cheeks burn as she strokes Pearl’s upper arms and draws her close, gently rests their heads together, nuzzles against the cabochon.</p><p> </p><p>“Tell me what you need,” Volley whispers.</p><p> </p><p>“You.” The answer is immediate, voice clear despite the fullness of her eyes. “Please.”</p><p> </p><p>Volley swallows, drinking her in - the Renegade, and all the rest. She loves her so completely, even the pieces she can’t understand: those darker facets Pearl can’t quite bring herself to hold in the light; the shame, poisoning her mind until she feels unworthy of love; the anger, bursting out, snapping her closed like a fan. The feeling brims over, head swimming in it. She kisses her again, deep and intent.</p><p> </p><p>“Okay.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes?”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Yes</em>.” A graze of teeth against her lower lip, anticipation and assurance. Pearl relaxes against her, and she feels gratified.</p><p> </p><p>They sink back into the bed together in a damp tangle of identical limbs. Volley pulls Pearl down with her, rolls them onto their sides, guiding Pearl gently by the shoulders so they lie side-on, facing each other, legs intertwining.</p><p> </p><p>“I love you,” Pearl whispers again, as Volley wraps her leg around Pearl’s thigh. “So much.”</p><p> </p><p>“And I you,” Volley returns, pressing another kiss to Pearl’s gem: open-mouthed, lips first, then a hot, slow flicker of her tongue. Pearl mewls and grips her shoulders, responding to the touch. “How do you want - “</p><p> </p><p>“Both,” Pearl murmurs, heated. Her gem glows for a moment. Held so close, Volley feels the tiny shift in the plane of Pearl’s body, hard-light muscles moving as she shifts to whatever anatomy strikes her fancy for the moment.</p><p> </p><p>“You didn’t phase them off,” Volley observes, plucking at the waist of her jeans. Pearl’s damp cheeks are tinged forget-me-not blue as she bites her lip and stars, she looks divine as she glances up at Volley.</p><p> </p><p>“Will you undress me?” Soft, tentative, a little self-conscious. Volley can deny her nothing.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, Pearl.” Volley kisses her, winds a hand up to tangle in Pearl’s hair, holding her as close as possible as she opens her mouth, deepens the kiss, waits ‘til she hears a rewarding little moan before pulling back, fiddling with the hem of her shirt. “Of course. Anything you want. Let’s make a start on this, hmm?”</p><p> </p><p>“What about you?” Pearl glances down to Volley’s body, covered again after the earlier overstimulation.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh!” Volley had almost forgotten, wipes her face and then concentrates for a second. After a glimmer of light she’s nude once more, flashing Pearl an impish grin. Pearl makes a hungry little noise, pulls her close for another searing kiss, turning her attention to Volley’s neck: gentle nips of teeth soothed by lips and tongue, suckling a swatch of skin to a fuchsia bruise. Volley whimpers, and Pearl presses her upper body against Volley, careful not to brush against her gem. Not yet, at least.</p><p> </p><p>“Please,” Pearl murmurs, hoarse.</p><p> </p><p>The note of supplication and the depth of the trust between them, even unfused, almost has Volley tearful again. She manages not to, instead beginning to work the fastenings of Pearl’s shirt one-handed as Pearl kisses her way up her throat, back towards her lips. As she turns her attention to Volley’s left jaw, however, her gem brushes Volley’s bun. The slight drag of friction from the silky knot of hair has her wriggling irresistibly in Volley’s arms.</p><p> </p><p>“Easy,” she whispers. “I’ve got you. I’m going to take care of you. We have time.”</p><p> </p><p>“We do,” Pearl agrees, as Volley works the final hook free of its eyelet and pulls her shirt down and away. “I just - ah! I just need to feel you.”</p><p> </p><p>“Mmm,” Volley murmurs appreciatively, one hand already toying with the bluebell aureola of the nipple Pearl had shifted moments before. There’s the barest suggestion of breasts over the muscle of her chest - pectorals, Volley remembers, from the human anatomy lessons. It’s to these that Volley turns her attention, a questioning eyebrow answered with a nod before she begins to gently knead the skin left so temptingly bared before her. “How’s this?”</p><p> </p><p>“Good,” Pearl sighs, turning her head left to right, slowly rubbing her pearl against Volley’s undamaged cheek. Volley ducks her head to kiss it, letting her hand roam as her mouth ghosts the sensitive surface of Pearl’s gem, and Pearl lets out a breathy moan.</p><p> </p><p>Volley gives a pleased little chirrup as she dots featherlight kisses all over Pearl’s brow, rapid and soft, before she dares to slowly lick the surface of her gem from bottom to top with the flat of her tongue.</p><p> </p><p>Pearl cries out weakly, and murmurs another “please” against her neck. Her gem is brightening, its glow a radiant white, but Volley can see she’s not close yet. Usually, Pearl is the one to take the lead, setting the pace, decimating Volley’s composure with tongue and fingers and mouth over her gem. </p><p> </p><p>She rather likes being at her mercy - revels in it, honestly - but she decides, as Pearl’s hips cant against her thigh, that she rather enjoys this role reversal, too. She isn’t as practised, true, but she’s a quick enough study, and the incentive is fairly intoxicating. It’s a change, if nothing else, something a little different to help pull both of them back to the present. </p><p> </p><p>“What do you want?” she asks, voice low and rough, hand on Pearl’s chest drifting lower down her abdomen. Pearl nods, the action brushing her gem against Volley’s lips, provoking a ragged gasp. Volley’s teeth glint as she smiles down at her with a gentle tut.</p><p> </p><p>“That’s not an answer, now, is it?”</p><p> </p><p>On a wicked impulse, Volley digs her fingers in just a mite, enjoying Pearl’s squirming as she lets her nails graze all the way down to her waistband, stopping short of the zip. Pearl’s brow knits, flushed blue to the neck.</p><p> </p><p>“You know perfectly well what I want,” she huffs, a little petulant, oh, that’s <em> cute.</em> No mercy yet, though. Volley trills a little hum as if she’s considering the answer.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, I’ve got a few ideas. But…” One finger, teasing the waistband, dragging slow across her navel. Her eyes glimmer as she watches Pearl try and fail to keep her hips still. “I want to hear it from you. Tell me exactly what you want and maybe…” Her teeth catch the sensitive juncture of throat and collarbone, a quick nibble, a firm flick of her tongue, “...maybe then I’ll give it to you.”</p><p> </p><p>Pearl groans, giving a feeble wriggle beneath her as Volley’s hand strays further down, outside her jeans, tracking a tease along the seam. “Someone’s been - ah- taking tips from Bismuth.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh!” Volley smirks. “If it’s<em> tips from Bismuth </em> you want, I’m sure she wouldn’t mind - I certainly don’t. I can just... “ She snatches her hand back, leaving Pearl whimpering at the loss, “...leave you to it. Let you wait.”</p><p> </p><p>“You wouldn’t.” Her lips purse in a show of defiance, but the hunger in her eyes and the note of want in her tone give her away entirely.</p><p> </p><p>“I might. I won’t ask again. What do you want?”</p><p> </p><p>Pearl sighs, relenting, rolling her eyes as she squeezes her legs together, searching for friction. “I<em> want</em> you to fuck me.”</p><p> </p><p>Volley coos, pleased, as she surges against her mouth in a molten kiss. “There. That wasn’t so hard, was it?”</p><p> </p><p>Pearl grips her hard, voice constricted with desire. “Volley. Stop teasing. I want - “</p><p> </p><p>“I know, I know,” Volley soothes, hand settling back against Pearl’s side, tracing the curve of her waist. It’s delightful, seeing how frustrated she can get from a few kisses and touches, but Volley finds it hard to say no when she asks so very nicely. “I’m getting there. Stars, you’re impatient.”</p><p> </p><p>Pearl raises an eyebrow, a light scoff of incredulity as her hips roll against nothing. “Any wonder why?”</p><p> </p><p>“Hmm,” Volley taps her chin in mock-thought. “Not really.” She silences Pearl’s laugh with another kiss, searching and tender, a reward for her patience as she catches the top button of her jeans between thumb and forefinger. “May I take these?”</p><p> </p><p>Pearl nods, then tips her head back, cheeks blue as a lagoon. One hand flies to the fastenings on her jeans as the other traces her own nipple. Volley bites back a moan of her own at her eagerness, as she begins to work Pearl’s jeans down her thin hips. She lifts herself up just enough for Volley to begin to peel them down her thighs, but she can’t resist a teasing brush of her fingertips against the fabric of Pearl’s gusset. The high keening little whimper she receives is well worth the frustrated frown on Pearl’s face, thrown into sharper relief by the glowing gem in her brow.</p><p> </p><p>She gets the jeans down to Pearl’s ankles, taking her sweet time, careful and delicate as she holds her ankles to unhook each foot one at a time. She folds them (she knows Pearl will be antsy if they’re tossed aside) with a devilish smile at Pearl, lying on her back, spread out so invitingly.</p><p> </p><p>“You look delectable,” she tells her. Pearl gives a shaky laugh. They’ve both stopped crying, now: feelings still tender as bruises; both raw with the deep, aching need to be held. Pearl’s eyes are heavy lidded as she looks down her prone body at Volley, hips shifting minutely on the bed.</p><p> </p><p>“Come here,” she asks, softly.</p><p> </p><p>Volley can only oblige her, returning to her side, and as she kisses her this time she does allow her gem to rub against the exposed skin of Pearl’s midriff. She gives a dreamy little sigh of pleasure as she nuzzles her cheek against Pearl’s gem, hands roaming her shoulderblades, her waist, her hip. She chances a little squeeze when her fingers brush the material still covering Pearl’s backside, and Pearl laughs into their kiss.</p><p> </p><p>“Tease,” she says, raising her hand, giving a playful one-finger tap to Volley’s nose before cupping her jaw for a deep, searching kiss. Volleyball smirks as she pulls back.</p><p> </p><p>“I learned from the best.”</p><p> </p><p>“You are - truly - incorrigible,” Pearl returns, punctuating her words with kisses. “But I love it. I love you.”</p><p> </p><p>“I love you too,” Volleyball returns, stroking down Pearl’s thighs, hesitating at the knee before trailing the gauzy contact back up along her inside legs. She stops short, able to feel the heat off Pearl but still wanting to ask the question. “Will you let me have you? Please?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes,” hisses Pearl, legs spreading to allow Volleyball’s hand to keep exploring.</p><p> </p><p>Volley obliges immediately, kissing Pearl hard as she begins to apply gentle pressure at the soft damp apex of Pearl’s thighs. Pearl gasps, nodding feverishly, gem warming, hips moving in a molasses-slow rhythm of their own accord.</p><p> </p><p>“How...?” she asks, mouth against Pearl’s gem, shutting her eyes against the building light. Pearl rocks her hips against Volley’s hand with a moan, her skin brushing Volley’s pearl, and she quivers as she feels the tension building again in her own core. She is determined to see Pearl fall apart first, though, so she tries to ignore the delicious friction of form against gem as she crooks her thumb and elicits a shout from Pearl.</p><p> </p><p>“In,” she answers, desperate. “Inside, please.”</p><p> </p><p>“Hands? I can shift, if you like.”</p><p> </p><p>Pearl shakes her head at that, face cyan as Volley begins to ease down her last remaining garment. “Hands. Please. Please, Volley, please,” she gasps out, around breaths she doesn’t need but can’t seem to stop taking.</p><p> </p><p>“So polite,” Volley giggles, as Pearl kicks her panties off one ankle. “You’re getting what you want. Don’t worry.”</p><p> </p><p>“I - <em> ohhh</em>.” Pearl’s answer is curtailed by a broken moan as Volley’s hand settles back between her legs, parting her gently. She is beautifully, invitingly wet; and Volley would love to spend hours petting and tasting and teasing, dangling the prize then whipping it away until Pearl is so desperate she’s begging.</p><p> </p><p>No. Not tonight. They need each other’s comfort tonight, and she’s made her wait long enough. She kisses Pearl’s gem, open-mouthed and artless, tracing the glyphs of Gem script with the tip of her tongue. She can feel her own pearl warming between them as Pearl gasps raggedly, twitching at every lap of her tongue while Volley’s circling fingers catch the slickness between her shuddering legs.</p><p> </p><p>"Ready?"</p><p> </p><p>"Yes."</p><p> </p><p>Pearl squeezes her eyes shut as Volleyball’s finger presses slowly in, thumb brushing her clit as her index finger wiggles between tight muscles shapeshifted for the purpose of pleasure and pleasure alone. They both moan as she reaches her knuckle, sheathing her finger deep inside the velvety heat of Pearl.</p><p> </p><p>Volley has to take a stabilizing breath as Pearl’s hand, clumsy with need, finds her gem. She gives Pearl a moment to adjust to the slight stretch, and then matches the motion of her fingers to the pattern of her tongue against nacre.</p><p> </p><p>“More,” Pearl begs. </p><p> </p><p>“Anything you want,” Volley affirms in a whisper, nipping Pearl’s lower lip as she adds another finger with practised ease.</p><p> </p><p>Pearl rolls her head back, gasping, arching against Volley, pressing their bodies flush against each other, leaving just enough space for her thumb to circle Volley’s gem. Both of their pearls are glowing, flickering with building light, hot as sand warmed by the sun. Volley can’t help a moan as she grinds against Pearl’s thigh, angling her fingers up and in as she pulls Pearl’s head back to her, loving noises murmured against her gem in between wide sweeps of her tongue.</p><p> </p><p>The hand at the gem on her midriff darts down, Pearl’s blissfully discombobulated expression shifting to a quick wordless raise of the eyebrows, asking permission. She nods, panting, and then Pearl is inside her in one easy thrust - she’s still wet from their earlier play, though she has the good sense to avoid her oversensitive clit. Volley whines, thrusting, tightening around the solid, living feel of Pearl’s fingers.</p><p> </p><p>They were created the same, limbs and hands and facial features identical. She wonders, as she pants against Pearl’s gem, if her two fingers buried in Pearl feel as wrenchingly good as Pearl’s within her. As she closes her eyes, pressing urgent kisses against Pearl’s gem, her brow, her eyelids, nose, mouth, she can feel the heat radiating from each of their gems: hers casting shadows of their busy hands and arms on the gauzy curtain, Pearl’s sending little kaleidoscope bursts of color behind her closed lids as she feels Pearl clench hard around her fingers.</p><p> </p><p>“Yes,” she hisses. “Give - give me - oh, Pearl.”</p><p> </p><p>Pearl’s body curls up off the bed, heels kicking amidst the sheets below, but she still manages to angle her wrist just enough for the flat of her hand to brush Volley’s hooded clit.</p><p> </p><p>The gentle pressure, on top of the friction of bare flesh against her gem and the curl of the fingers deep inside her, is all it takes. Pleasure surges, every synthesised synapse buzzing with it, cracking through her whole being like the sharp-edged snap of boiled syrup spilling over snow.</p><p> </p><p>When she feels the heat cresting in her gem, she’s certain for a moment they’ll open their eyes as Mega Pearl. Much as she might be better placed for calming Pearl after sharing a form, thinking and feeling together, she doesn’t think she could ever give up being separate - if for no other reason than being touched like this. Not even fusion could entice her to quit the privilege of watching Pearl as her face pinches, shatteringly lovely, wide-eyed and gasping.</p><p> </p><p>As she begins to shudder through the arrhythmic fluttering of synthesized muscles, brightening pink light warning of the imminent flash, Volley’s free hand grabs at Pearl’s neck, pulls her in. Her tongue flicks hard against her gem as she forces the muscles of her hand to comply through the trembling waves of pleasure. With a series of tiny, repeated twitches from the wrist, she makes her hand vibrate, inside and against Pearl.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh - oh my - Volley,” Pearl manages, halfway to an overwhelmed sob - then she’s tumbling over the edge too, a guttural wordless shout as her gem grows hot and bright as the bulb of a torch, wavering for a long second before it culminates into a flash. Her legs snap closed around Volley’s hand, a spurt of wetness against her palm and wrist as she works her, gasping as they fall apart together.</p><p> </p><p>Volley kisses her hard as they shake through it, backs arching, pleasure-slurred nonsense murmured adoringly against one another’s mouths while hands press and curl and twitch, chasing the ebbing wave of pleasure. She pulls back first, cresting at the edge of hypersensitivity and rearing away; still stroking Pearl, kissing her flickering gem, watching open-mouthed until she collapses against the bed and paws weakly at Volley’s hand. The glow wavers like candlelight before an opened door, then gradually fades.</p><p> </p><p>Utterly spent, breathing heavy, Volleyball withdraws her hand, shivering lightly as they cool. Pearl pulls the blanket over them both with a pleased little hum, as she lies beside Volley, cheek against shoulder, one bare foot stroking her ankle.</p><p> </p><p>“Thank you,” she sighs.</p><p> </p><p>“Thank you,” Volley returns. “I needed that. I needed <em> you </em>.”</p><p> </p><p>“The feeling is quite mutual,” Pearl murmurs, breath warm against Volley’s collarbone. “I love you.”</p><p> </p><p>“I love you too, Pearl,” Volley whispers back, stroking her mussed hair; then, fiercely: “And I’m not letting you go.”</p><p> </p><p>Pearl's answering smile is wobbly. “Good,” she says, voice small and constricted, dropping a kiss against Volley’s sternum. Volley kisses the crown of her head, minding her gem as Pearl cuddles in close to her side, wrapping an arm around her. They lie together, safe and sated, basking in the lazy aftermath of surging pleasure amidst the faint sounds of thundering of water.</p><p> </p><p>“Where did that come from?” Pearl asks, after a moment.</p><p> </p><p>“Hmm?” </p><p> </p><p>“You know,” Pearl says meaningfully, with a nudge. “The… bossiness. That’s a new one on you.”</p><p> </p><p>“I didn’t plan it. I just felt like it,” Volley chirrups, then hesitates. “Was it… okay?”</p><p> </p><p>“Was it - ? <em> Volley</em>! It was beyond okay. It was wonderful,” she exclaims, nuzzling her shoulder. “I’m certainly not complaining. It was a pleasant surprise, that’s all.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m full of surprises,” Volley winks. “Bis is in for quite a shock.”</p><p> </p><p>“Stars. Yes, I imagine she is,” Pearl chuckles, settling back down with a happy hum. “Perhaps I should warn her.”</p><p> </p><p>“You better not,” Volley tells her, mock-stern, with a gentle tap at her long nose. “Or there’ll be consequences.”</p><p> </p><p>“Will there, now?” Pearl laughs, delighted at her wickedness, and rewards her with another kiss. Volley’s pantomime of severity dissolves under Pearl’s lips - she can’t help but giggle, right against her mouth, which makes both of them laugh harder. Once they’ve regained some composure, they kiss a while longer, slow and gentle, before Pearl nestles back against Volley’s side. They’re the same height to the millimetre, but she shuffles a little down the bed until she can curl neatly under Volley’s arm, like she’s seeking out a place to hide. </p><p> </p><p>The fresh memory of Pearl crying desperately into the same shoulder she’s snuggled under brings out a flush of protectiveness, sharp as acid - she can’t stop <em> Pearl </em>making herself unhappy, but stars help anyone else who dares try. She may not be a soldier, but there wouldn’t be enough Diamond essence in the universe to save anyone who tried to harm Pearl once she was finished with them - to say nothing of what Bis or the others would do. </p><p> </p><p>Pearl sniffs, the sound shaking her out of her savage fantasy. She kisses the top of her head, tousled hair tickling her nose as she draws her closer. Pearl burrows in deeper with a contented murmur. </p><p> </p><p>She likes to cling, sometimes, when she’s feeling a little fragile. Volley understands it all too well - she can’t speak for any other Pearls, but she’s familiar with the craving for contact, knows how she hates being peeled from the sanctuary of Bismuth’s embrace or Pearl’s on a bad day. Usually it’s Bismuth or Garnet who get the honor, with their broad frames and strong arms. It isn’t that she’s jealous - there’s plenty of Pearl to go around - but she’s quietly pleased to be the place Pearl has decided to anchor herself today.  </p><p> </p><p>There’s nowhere else in the universe Volley would rather be, but as she sighs and glances lovingly down at Pearl, a thought blooms in her mind, begins to pinball around her head as the afterglow fades.</p><p> </p><p>“Do you... ever think about the others?” Volley asks, tentatively.</p><p> </p><p>“Which others?” Pearl frowns minutely, eyes opening. “You mean<em> my</em> others?”</p><p> </p><p>“No,” Volley reassures, stroking her cheek. “We talked all about that. I meant the other Pearls. The Little Homeworld Pearls, at least.”</p><p> </p><p>“I...” Pearl looks puzzled. “In what context?”</p><p> </p><p>“We never knew,” Volley says, slowly. “We never knew how good this could be. Do you think they...?”</p><p> </p><p>Pearl blinks. “Are you suggesting we invite them?”</p><p> </p><p>“Not necessarily,” Volley shrugs, one-shouldered, so she doesn’t jostle Pearl. “But there’s a lot we missed out on. And it feels... safe, with other Pearls. We get things in a way the others don’t.” She smiles down at Pearl. “If they wanted to learn, we could help. Even just cuddling. Stars, Pearl - thousands of years without being <em>held</em>.” She squirms deeper under the covers, winding her arm around Pearl, to illustrate her point. “How did we ever endure it?”</p><p> </p><p>Pearl chuckles. “I’ve no idea. I suppose I was spoiled, what with leaving and all. Bismuth, Garnet, even Amethyst - they've been plenty patient with me and my... Pearl issues.” She sighs, and the look on her face is thoughtful but not melancholy. “Rose was too, though it was - different. But I see your point.”</p><p> </p><p>“So, shall we ask?” Volley’s voice is hopeful as she nestles sleepily against Pearl.</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll need to check in with the others, of course.”</p><p> </p><p>“Of course,” Volley echoes. “I just thought it wasn’t fair of me to keep you all to myself.”</p><p> </p><p>“Sweetheart,” Pearl giggles. “I have, at last count, five partners across two different life forms. You’re hardly selfish.”</p><p> </p><p>“Only because you’re excellent at scheduling,” Volley murmurs. “I don’t know where you find the time.”</p><p> </p><p>“Easily, when you’re all so different and so wonderful,” Pearl smiles, warm and fond. “Say... why don’t you ask Yellow and Blue yourself?”</p><p> </p><p>Volley blinks back into wakefulness. “I won’t know what to say!”</p><p> </p><p>“Of course you will. Just exactly what you’ve said to me. We’re all Pearls, after all. And believe me, you are - “ she tips her head to kiss her; grins into it, a little cocky, utterly irresistible, leaves Volley battling the urge to pin her against the bed again, “ - particularly persuasive.”</p><p> </p><p>“Hmm,” Volley considers. “Maybe I will.” Her mouth quirks into a sly, ribbing smile. “I’m sure they’ll want in on you, though. How could any Pearl resist?”</p><p> </p><p>Pearl squeezes her, mischievous. “Is that so? Does my reputation precede me?”</p><p> </p><p>“It does, but... it isn’t just that. Amethyst yelled across the greenhouse for me to 'go get me some hot Pearl-on-Pearl action’ when I left to meet you yesterday. Cherry Quartz nearly fell into the rhododendrons.”</p><p> </p><p>“Stars. Do remind me to have a word with her about modelling appropriate behavior as an educator. We can't have the other Quartzes talking like that.” Pearl sighs, then muffles a yawn with her hand. It’s adorable, and Volley can’t resist tucking a gentle kiss against her hairline.</p><p> </p><p>It’s a tiny, restrained gesture - too small and contained for this magnitude of feeling. Sometimes it feels like her emotions are trying to make up for lost time with their multitude and intensity, always so close to brimming over. It’s a little frightening at times. She’s not had Pearl’s practice in sifting the memories into neat boxes, organised and deliberate, keeping herself removed wherever possible from the things she’d rather keep buried.</p><p> </p><p>She isn’t sure she wants to. It’s... a lot, so much emotion, all the time - but it’s all hers. And if she’s compensating for the millennia that were taken from her - years she should have spent learning and changing and being, snuffed out easy as swiping an eraser down a chalkboard - after that, Volley thinks maybe she deserves to feel a lot of things. It seems important somehow, and it’s a choice she gets to make.</p><p> </p><p>She <em> thinks</em>. She <em> deserves</em>. She <em> feels</em>. She <em> chooses</em>. The swell of pride and happiness blossoms up through her whole form like a golden bubble, warming her - just a little pain at the edges; garlanded with old, old anger, scraping like barbed wire.</p><p> </p><p>She notices it, gives it space, makes room. She deserves to be here - and so does the pain. She doesn’t need to do anything with it right <em> now</em>, though. So she breathes in, out, taking in air she doesn’t need, just because she can. Grounding, Garnet had called it. She focuses on the warmth of Pearl in her arms as she cleaves to the tingling golden-hour feeling of being free, and here, and hers.</p><p> </p><p>She doesn’t belong to anyone, she never will again. She<em> wants </em>to be here. Pearl wants the same. The thought is a softer one, one to wrap herself in like a blanket, and she pulls Pearl a little closer. Being with Pearl feels like the light of her form is diffracting into a hundred shades, each hue a different feeling. Satisfaction. Anxiety. Hope. And love - stronger and more vibrant than the rest, painfully brilliant in its intensity, like trying to look into a sun. </p><p> </p><p>There’s so much that she doesn’t know where to put it all, so she doesn’t. Instead she closes her eyes, feeling her chest move with every breath against the familiar shape of Pearl, pressed up against her. Maybe they could nap. Chances are she’ll wake disoriented to the blue distorted flicker of memory and Pearl’s restless twitching - it wouldn’t be the first time, but she doesn’t mind. Sometimes she settles if somebody holds her.</p><p> </p><p>“Can I remind you later?” she asks, drowsily.</p><p> </p><p>“You may,” Pearl sighs, snuggling against her. “You certainly may.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Happy Holidays to everyone at the Reef (i respectfully blame at least half of you for all 7k+ words of this smutty little number). Concrit always welcome, everyone stay safe.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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